Supporting A Family Member or a Friend Through a Serious Illness

May has been a challenging month for me. My dad, who lives in the UK, was admitted to hospital with suspected heart issues, and my husband was taken to hospital unexpectedly at the same time here in Hong Kong. They are both ok now but the stress and uncertainty brought back memories of the first decade of my marriage – a trying time when my husband, who was seriously ill with a debilitating condition, endured endless rounds of operations. And now, I feel additional stress and a sense of helplessness that comes with living thousands of miles apart from my aging parents.
I know many of us have elderly parents, family or friends who have been or are seriously unwell. I wanted to share with you some things that you can do to help you through such difficult times.
Here are the top 5 techniques that helped me.

1. Try staying positive and strong. I spent weeks worrying about what might happen if… I now just realise how much energy I was wasting on ‘What ifs?’. Half of what I worried about didn’t arise whilst things that I hadn’t even considered did! Believe me, In know it’s difficult but do try to focus your attention solely on the things that you can control in the situation.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for support. This is a time when family and friends are so important. I don’t know how I would’ve coped without my parents and sister, Steve’s family and my best friend sitting with me at operations and looking after our son during hospital visits. As an expat here in Hong Kong, my church family has given me amazing support too. Set up a WhatsApp group to keep everyone informed and use to rota others in that perhaps can visit the patient when you can’t be there.
3. Share what you are feeling. Everybody needs an outlet. I’m grateful that my sister and best friend are always ready to lend a listening ear. As a carer you have to monitor how you are around the patient. You’re the one they rely on to remain upbeat and positive when they are low. Perhaps you’re with them 24/7, in which case they may easily pick up on how worried and fearful you are. Offloading those thoughts to a trusted friend or family member can help to bolster you when emotions overwhelm. Support groups can be great if you don’t have family – there will be people going through similar situations at the same time and you can support each other.
4. Keep life going as normally as you can. I worked even through the most difficult times. Why? Because I needed some normality and it was a place where I could just focus on something else. To be brutally honest, if the worst was to happen, I knew work would be an anchor in my life and a constant.
5. Look after yourself. As easy as it is to neglect your own wellbeing, making yourself ill will not help the patient or those that depend on you. Plus, you’ll need your strength during the weeks and months of recovery when you are, perhaps, the main carer.  So even though you may not feel like eating - and hospital meals can be pretty unappealing – ensure you eat healthily. Take some snacks  -such as fruit, nuts and seeds- with you for long hospital visits. Schedule in some down time if you can, be it a walk in nature, or a massage or a bath with essential oil. Just make some time for you.

Men's Health

Typically, women are better at seeking health-related advice compared to men who are less likely to take care of themselves or open up to others. Seeing as though June is Men’s Health Awareness month and Father’s Day why not treat your dad or the man in your life to a health consultation. We are lucky to have Joe, our very own male Health Coach here, who can advise on all areas of personal wellbeing from food and weight to exercise, gut and heart health.  

Recipe of The Month

Quick and Easy Tomato and Courgette Stir Fry with Quinoa

A delicious, healthy and nourishing lunch or dinner meal that all the family will love. The quinoa is a great source of protein containing all 9 essential amino acids our bodies need. It also contains double the fibre of other grains, which means it keeps constipation (a common concern for many during stressful times). Meanwhile, tomatoes and courgettes both have an abundance of vitamin C, a natural antioxidant that prevents cancer-causing free radicals from damaging and ageing the body.

Serves 4:
Ingredients:

• 1 cup quinoa washed
• 2 cups of water for boiling
• 3 lemons juiced
• 4 tbs olive oil
• 2 tsp chilli de-seeded and chopped finely (add more or less dependent on how spicy you like it)
• 3 cloves garlic peeled and chopped
• 1 red onion peeled and chopped finely
• 1 red, green, yellow pepper all chopped and deseeded
• 3 to 4 courgettes
• 2 x 400g tins of chopped tomatoes
• Bag of spinach (can be fresh or frozen)
• Bunch of broccoli sprouts or pak choy (or greens of your choice)
• Sea or Himalayan salt

 
Directions:

1. Cook the quinoa in the water, boil and allow to simmer until fluffy and the water is all absorbed. This can take around 15 minutes. You may need to add extra water while cooking if the pan starts to dry out).
2. Whilst the quinoa is cooking, add the olive oil then the garlic and onion to a frying pan or wok and heat until the onion is soft.
3. Add the peppers, courgettes, broccoli and pak choy to the frying pan and cook until soft
4. Add in the tomatoes and spinach until the spinach wilts
5. Once the quinoa is done add lemon juice and salt. Serve with the stir fry on top.​

 
Alison and the Health Nation HK team!